Monday, September 8, 2014
Back in the spring, I shared a bit of my journey regarding the injury to my groin and back. Well a few more months have passed and I’ve continued along with physical therapy. My attitude has gotten much better and while my back has made great improvements, I have stalled in the last month or so with PT. Both I and my physical therapist feel pretty frustrated and discouraged. She has continued to research obscure muscles and ligaments and work me over at each session and while it definitely helps in the short-term, I’m making no forward progress at this point.
I am discouraged because I continue to struggle with pain in my low back and groin, and I don’t have the ability to move my right leg fully.
The end of September will be a full year since I started on this journey. After a couple of sessions of cross-fit I just couldn’t get rid of this nagging pain in my groin that would get so sharp at times. Then my back kicked in to help compensate and after much chiropractics, a hernia surgery, and six months of PT, here I am a year later still with that same nagging groin pain, back pain and now the inability to move my leg freely. Yeah…I’m pretty discouraged.
My PT sent me back to my doctor to reassess the situation. I just got back from seeing her. I wish I had good news. There are more expensive tests in my future and she threw around some scary sounding possible diagnoses and therapies. Rogue endometriosis that could have settled in my groin instead of my uterus…ligaments stretched beyond their ability to heal… I was almost in tears as she described some horrible procedure called glucose shots into the ligament and thought that might be the next thing to try. She was honest that it is painful and expensive; it causes further inflammation so the body will heal itself correctly. Yikes!! I so hope we don’t end up going that direction.
In the meantime, I’m getting scheduled for a very thorough ultrasound of the entire area (if you know what I mean) with a possibility of an MRI in my future. And a consult with the glucose shot doctor (still trying not to cry thinking about it).
On the way home I wanted to break down into tears. I could feel the fear trying to get a grip… Instead I started thanking God for being in control of this situation and the fear I felt at the edges of my thinking…it just dissipated. Instead, I am wrapped in a complete peace. There are still a hundred questions going through my mind: How can we afford this? How much pain is going to be involved in getting better? What if I need another surgery? What if it is something really bad? How long do I have to be in this condition? What if they can’t figure it out? There’s so many more… But there’s no fear there. There’s no worry, really. There are questions—lots of them—but the answer is always God. He is in control of all aspects of this situation and nothing could be more of a comfort.
The Lord really is my strength and my comfort. Amen!