Week 8 - A New Commitment

Well, I feel like I’ve just wasted the last three weeks. Okay, not wasted, per se, but that I’ve just been spinning my wheels. I know I’ve drastically increased my activity. And as the weather continues to get better, that will only continue. I have a gazillion outdoor projects to work on and they all required copious amounts of physical labor. However, here I am, three weeks later, at the same weight I was three weeks ago.

Albeit, I did have to report a two pound gain last week, so it goes to say, that I have actually lost two pounds this week, but I’d be even further ahead if I hadn’t been spinning my wheels for those two weeks in between. Of course, Disneyland had a lot to do with that—but I can’t blame my indulgences at Disneyland for all of it. After all, my weight gain came the week after Disneyland.

I really am taking this seriously. I want to be healthier, slimmer and more fit. I want to have an intimate connection to Cainan’s struggle. While I am slowly getting slimmer and more fit, I don’t feel I’ve really committed to the lifestyle I need to meet my other two goals: I’m not eating as healthy as I should be, and I certainly can’t commiserate with Cainan. I’m still giving myself the option to eat what I want when I want, whenever I’m hungry.

So, this week I’m dedicating to Cainan. I’m laying out a meal plan for myself and I’m sticking to it. It’s very much like Cainan’s lifestyle. I prepare all his meals, with strict calorie content. He eats at regular intervals: breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, snack. He gets nothing else in between and he has very little choices when it comes to making the decisions about what he’s going to eat. As a result, Cainan continues to thrive and maintain a healthy weight.

Obviously, I know how to do it, I’m just not doing it for myself. That feels hypocritical since the major part of this lose-a-thon is to raise awareness for Prader Willi Syndrome and for me to understand on a personal level what Cainan goes through. Not to mention the fact that I’m setting a poor example for both my boys.

It’s not like I’m talking about a life of total depravation. I’ve really been blessed with the ability to cook and I take pride in the fact that while Cainan’s restricted to just 800-900 calories a day, he does not feel deprived. I prepared well-rounded, tasty meals, his snacks are often special treats like cookies, pudding, fruit, popcorn (thank goodness for 100 calorie packs). He really eats very well. There’s no reason why I shouldn’t be eating just like him—of course I know I require a few hundred more calories than that.

So, this week’s to Cainan. No over-indulgences. Planned meals with limited calories. Regular physical activity. I should have an even better report next week when it comes to weigh in and I’ll certainly feel better about myself for my efforts to do the right thing!

Week 8 = 174 pounds (-16 total)